I talked to Cynthia yesterday about the possibility of putting in two. As I mentioned before, she's always been into it and is extremely excited about the possibility of twins. I told her I was reconsidering it (based on a lot of your comments) and told her about all the possible risks. I mentioned she could be put on bed rest, more likely to have a C-section, etc, etc. and she said that if the doctor thinks she can do it, then she'll very happily go for it.
With that in mind, Dan and I met with the doctor in Santa Monica this morning about the frozen egg program. I know I've said this before but I LOVE HIM! In this 6 years of meeting with a million doctors, I've never been so impressed with someone's honesty, bedside manner and knowledge. He is a professor at USC and sure does know how to explain things, he is very analytical and takes the time to listen and substantiate his thoughts.
Anyway. He is open to transferring one of our donor sperm embryos from CC.RM and a donor egg embryo created with Dan's sperm, both on the same cycle. And he is not trying to sell me anything here, he asked me why consider donor eggs when I had those other two. He believes that those 2 embryos could very well create 2 babies. He also mentioned some studies showing that an older egg with young sperm and vice versa have higher rates than old sperm with old eggs, the young mitochondria, or whatever, gives them a boost kind of thing. So the fact that those embryos were created with young sperm does increase the chances in his opinion, this is on top of being transferred to a proven uterus. Then we explained that we want to give Dan a chance to have his bio child, and of course, if it was the eggs all along, then we could possibly not have to have Cynthia cycle again.
If we go this route I need a guarantee that we would get a blast to transfer. He suggested using fresh eggs instead of frozen for a better outcome, the donor we like is not cycling anymore, just has frozen eggs. We would need to go with what will give us better success, of course.
Yes, there is the RBA bank, thanks for the suggestion! Three things though, and I'm not crossing that option out yet. First I don't like that RBA only shows baby pictures of the donors. I like to see them as adults. Second, I don't like that they are Anonymous. Dan and I have agreed that being open to our children (OMG, if that ever happens!) is the way to go. We want to be honest about their origin and they might want to meet their bio parents at some point. Our sperm donor agreed to one meeting with the child and we want the same from the egg donor. I think it's only fair for the child.
Number three is that it's in Atlanta. I like it here, I'm done with traveling if I can help it. The clinic here looks amazing, modern, has a great lab and I love the doctor!
So that's the latest ladies. We have time to think some more. The doctor is going to come up with a price for us using fresh eggs to get one or two blasts at the lowest cost. I will have to pick another donor, and that's OK, most of the donors are very pretty and smart.
What do you think? With this we will cover a possible uterine problem, a possible egg problem and a sperm problem. Now, if we have an egg AND sperm problem at the same time, we are screwed!
Wow! You have so many choices! But, it sounds like you have some great options! I like how he is willing to transfer two different types of embryos in one IVF. Due to all of the variables, that could be a great choice for you guys! It is awesome that you found a doc you actually like - makes a big difference, huh? Wishing you the best of luck as you ake this decision!
ReplyDeleteThis might be old news to you but I recently read about a test that is suppose to predict the problem of eggs vs sperm -Gene Security Network (GSN) . I came across it on a surrogate web site called lotus blossom.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have many wonderful choices - best of luch
What wonderful possibilities! I think it would be great to have "twins" with each parents dna & donor gametes. I don't blame you for wanting to try a scenario that eliminates Iall issues. I did a fresh DE cycle in the Northeast and miscarried. I knew the donor and that felt right. I did not get pregnant on the FET. I wanted to try again but wanted to cycle faster than a fresh donor cycle, so I went to RBA. I got over the baby pictures, but am still disappointed by the "anonymous" donor. I am going to write letters to the donor and other children born from the donor in hopes for a connection for my daughter. I will be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteWow - great options. I remember looking at RBA originally for us (since we are in Atlanta), but I don't remember why we chose ACRM over them.
ReplyDeleteI rather like the idea of one of your embies, and one fresh DE with Dan's sperm. That just seems very special to me for some reason. Maybe I'm being too whimsical. If it worked, than you could find out who it was related to and try for #2 with the "known success".
So glad things are moving forward and Cynthia is so enthusiastic. That doc sounds amazing! Excited for you...
ReplyDeleteI have a positive feeling that this time around everything is going to work out. You have some great options available to you and it seems like your Dr and C are both very supportive which is wonderful.
ReplyDeletejust quickly, i am so happy to feel some excitement on your part coming thru your words... i am feeling it! let this be the year!
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited you found a great dr that you LOVE! That changes the landscape on so many things. With that said, I'm not quite as excited about Cynthia carrying twins (obviously a huge assumption). I know you know the risks and you've told her about them as well, but the risks seem so high for this woman. I don't know if she works, but how can she explain to her boss about being on bedrest for months for a surrogate pregnancy? What about her inability to care for her own family or the possibility of needing to hire help (I'm sure you'd help with that in a heartbeat!)? What would you say to your son/daughter when you explain why he/she has cerebal palsy from a premature birth? Or worse yet, what would you say to him/her as he/she is taking those lasts breaths after being born at 23 weeks? I really hate to sound so negative and especially so graphic, but the risks are real. Yes, there are a gazillion people who carry twins with no problem, but it just doesn't seem that luck has been on your side thus far in your fertility journey and I would be grief-struck if this also ended in grief. Just some somber thoughts to consider.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I want you to have twins I kind of agree with anonymous on this one, I am the first one to tell you that a twin pregnancy can go ok (even though I ended with gestational diabetes at 26 weeks and preeclampsia at 34 weeks and they had me on bed rest for two weeks to make it to full term) (and I was 33) (and I did not have any problems with my singleton pregnancy at all at 35) I have read so many blogs of twin pregnancies gone wrong. I was very lucky to have a good cervix but if you encounter cervix problems with a twin pregnancy the results can be catastrophic.
ReplyDeleteI do know the feeling of having twins, it is such a dream come true but I just dont want you to have pregnancy scares, and at 46 you are considered high risk with one let alone two.
Just my two cents. xoxo
I have a question about the "one of each" possibility. What would the kids think of each other? I mean, would they see it as "I'm Mommy's kid and you aren't" and "I'm Daddy's and you aren't?" I guess I'm trying to say that sibling rivalry can be a b!tch (lol), and I'd be very concerned about the ramifications of that decision 5-10-15 years from now. Of course, there are also many people who have biological children first and then use DE/DS and are fine, but with twins it just seems reeaallly complicated.
ReplyDeleteI've been a quiet follower of yours for just a short time. I've enjoyed reading your posts and wanted to wish you well and nominate you for a Liebster:
ReplyDeletehttp://findingawayoutofif.blogspot.ca/2013/01/liebster.html
Oh my gosh, I can't stand making decisions like this! It's so hard when you can't see into the future. I think there are cases to be made for both a single embryo and two embryos, and I guess it just comes down to how you, Cynthia and the doctor you trust the most feels about this. Argh! On another note: Only showing baby photos of the donors?! That's so bizarre! What on earth is the reasoning behind that?
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you like the doctor and hopeful that this is your way out of this grueling journey.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your decisions. Sending positive thoughts your way!
ReplyDeleteSince you are going to wait until summer for your surro cycle, any chance you'd consider a donor egg/Dan's sperm cycle for yourself?
ReplyDeleteIf not, I think I'd use your tested embryos first, then turn to donor egg if that fails. I agree with the other comments, risking a twin (or more if an embryo splits) pregnancy is too much.
that's an interesting suggestion above... if you are going to hold off until cynthia returns this summer, and you are planning on trying the DE route with her, maybe use your CCRM blasts for a final FET into yourself. what are your thoughts on this?
ReplyDeleteI've been away from the blogs for a few weeks but I'm so glad you had a chance to talk to Cynthia about putting in 2! Sending you positive thoughts as you embark on more decision making...!
ReplyDeletePS...how is your healthy eating regime going?
ReplyDeleteIt's going good, better, getting back to working out after a long break and cutting down on food, I've lost a couple of pounds and hopefully it's just the beginning, thanks for asking!
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