My records arrived in Seattle, the envelope was about 3 inches thick, no kidding. Now I'm in the books to speak with the doctor next Wednesday. After that, Cynthia will start the screening process. I'm excited and she is SUPER excited. So sweet.
So the next decision to make is, do we transfer the embryos we have or should we purchase those 5 frozen eggs at 10K and try for a bio child for Dan. I have been on Dan's back about this every.single.day. He does not want to do it, he wants to transfer our already created embryos, and the reason is just money. To me, even though I know money doesn't grow on trees, this decision is too important to let finances dictate which way to go. At least that's how I feel. So I'm trying to figure out myself what we should do and based on that, either drop it or push it.
The good thing is that Cynthia is willing to do more than one transfer. So if we use my embryo and we don't succeed, we have the chance to try again with an egg donor (if she doesn't change her mind, I have told her that she is free to say no more at any point in time). But if it takes, will Dan be happy? He says he will. But I know he'll grieve inside, and that makes me sad. I wish I wouldn't be that sentimental, but I am.
So that's another decision to make. If we get those donor eggs, will they all survive the thaw? How many will they fertilize with a not so good sperm? And of those, will there be a normal? Will it survive a second thaw after shipping to Seattle? We only have 5 to work with... I asked about sending the eggs to Seattle and fertilize them there prior to transfer to avoid a second thaw, but they use a different kind of method than any other clinic in the US, so that's not a possibility, they have to be thawed in L.A, fertilized, grow to blasts and then ship. Decisions, decisions.
So that's another decision to make. If we get those donor eggs, will they all survive the thaw? How many will they fertilize with a not so good sperm? And of those, will there be a normal? Will it survive a second thaw after shipping to Seattle? We only have 5 to work with... I asked about sending the eggs to Seattle and fertilize them there prior to transfer to avoid a second thaw, but they use a different kind of method than any other clinic in the US, so that's not a possibility, they have to be thawed in L.A, fertilized, grow to blasts and then ship. Decisions, decisions.
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I think Dan will love any child that makes your family complete. Move forward with what you have today and never look back to where it came from. You can't spend your life questioning if he's happy about biological DNA of the child.
ReplyDeleteThese are tough options but once you join the De "train "everyone has to be on board and looking forward to the future . Good luck
These decisions are tough. I wish there were no decions to be made because of money! Good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteWe have had to talk about using an egg donor in the future if this IVF cycle doesn't work. Its a hard topic, nonetheless, and I don't think think anyone truly understands the thoughts behind it unless they go through it. I will be praying for you guys!
ReplyDeleteHey there! Just found your site through Sprout's blogroll... wow, such an incredible journey that you've been on, and despite all these struggles you seem to have maintained a remarkably positive attitude. So inspiring! Really looking forward to seeing 2013 give you what you've been wanting and hoping for these past 6 years!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Same to you!
Deletemoving right along :) every time you make forward progress, it is a good thing!
ReplyDeletei don't know what to say about the donor eggs. it does sound a little expensive for eggs that you don't know how they will thaw and/or fertilize. what is this freezing method they are doing exclusive to their own clinic? not vitrification? would you please tell a little more about this detail?
i guess if i had to think out loud ;) i would say to start with the embryos you have made- they are paid for. see what happens...you know the possibilities... 1-2 RLB's, or no RLB's. although you can empathize with how dan may feel about a genetic connection, the fact that he does have an opinion probably reflects his true feelings of not being that attached to using DS or not.
then, if the embyros you have work (or don't work), and you find yourselves in the position down the road to ttc again, the option of purchasing donor eggs is still out there.
keep mulling over how you feel- you will get to where you need to be in terms of making this decision. thinking of you each day, and thanks so much for updating!
I haven't gotten a straight answer on that new method. Apparently the doctor patented something similar to vitrification, not all the eggs from the clinic are frozen that way, some are just plain vitrified but of course, the girl's eggs we like, have been frozen in this particular method. Can we chose some other donor? We don't really like anyone else :(
DeleteThank you for caring and always taking the time to help me! xo
I'd use the embryos that you already have. They're a known quantity, and have already been tested. I've been following you for a long time, and I do question the sperm issue... I'd move forward with what you have, esp. since Cynthia is willing to do more than one transfer. Go straight ahead to GO, and move forward!!!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU!
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