The TESE frozen sperm is the backup plan. Same as CC.RM, the new RE prefers to use fresh if possible. He believes that, since we are not really in any rush, we should try to get Dan's sperm to a decent level before jumping into the frozen. He really wants the frozen to be the absolute last resource.
Dr. J (new RE) recommends a different urologist that specializes in infertility, top 3 in the country, that can figure out what's going on with Dan and treat it quick. He thinks the terrible fertilization we had in the last IVF could be an indication of something else going on with Dan (more than my egg quality rapidly declining). Our regular urologist didn't worry too much about Dan's cyst down there but Dr. J wants someone else to take a better look. This new urologist apparently is on the cutting edge of his field, but yelp has mixed reviews about him. What to do? What to do? He is in San Francisco BTW, not local. I booked a phone appointment for Monday, it's free of charge and then we'll see.
I admit our case is complicated. But I still think there is a lot doctors don't know and I'm getting tired of going from one place to the other...
They are calling the donor today, they will ask what is the absolute latest she would be willing to cycle.
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It just keeps getting more complicated! I'm so sorry. Would you consider just using the embryos you have with donor sperm or is Dan opposed? Seems like that would be so much less agonizing.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's what he just said. He's so tired of it. I'm just worried he might regret it later you know. I wish a decision like that came from a different place that just being sick of doctors and money wasted...
DeleteJust came across our blog. We too deal with MFI (azoospermia). Hope you get some answers with the possibility of visiting a new doctor!
ReplyDeleteman, this totally sucks, for both of you.
ReplyDeletei would be swearing every swear word, right and left right now.
or, start laughing. laughing!! wtf?!! wtf universe?!! maybe this is just a test to be sure that you are both brought to your absolute limits, that the bottom line is 'we just want to be parents!!!'.
you are both going to be great parents, no matter how or which eggs or sperm gets you there.
keep your eye on the prize. and keep hugging eachother.
Thank you!
DeleteCrimmey. You two have been through so much. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThis is getting really complicated - I am so sorry you are having to go through all this.
ReplyDeleteIs there any chance the donor eggs could be frozen, that way you could work on Dan's issue and still get the donor you like - or do they want both fresh?
Also, I can understand preferring fresh sprem, my clinic said they did too, but had no issues using frozen. Sperm banks would be out of business if clinics always preferred fresh only - so maybe you can research that angle some more. That way you can get the cycle going with a fresh egg and frozen sperm rather than wait to resolve Dan's issue.
Not sure of any of this is even helpful. Hang in there! (Hugs)
They prefer both fresh. Of the two, I don't know what's better to have fresh, I should ask that. And you have a point on the frozen sperm from donors, my two embryos were also created with frozen donor sperm... there might be a difference between a super healthy sperm with millions of them to chose from as oppose to a TESE from Dan. Dr. J will call me tomorrow and I'll ask some more... I hope this girl can wait.
DeleteUgh. Two steps forward and one step back? Hope you can get some answers from the new urologist and that is doesn't screw with your donor's schedule.
ReplyDeleteOh boy, my husband had a lump down there and it was a varicocele, I think they gave him antibiotics, I honestly can't remember. Not that it helped very much, I remember them telling us his sample the day of the ER was really bad. UGH, so frustrating for you both.
ReplyDeleteI remember what happened on your ER day, but they also didn't do ICSI which was crazy! So your dh's sample must have been good enough to get into your eggs on their own... but yes, I remember how stressful it was. I am sure some antibiotics will help the lump, it's not the first time he's got this... I might be in total denial but I think it can be solved if this girl can wait a month or two. Thanks so much Krista!
DeleteAt this point, I think I'd jump to using the frozen embryos you already have. He won't regret it, no way! In the meantime, I'd still have him see a urologist to make sure his overall health is good, just to be sure. Then, if you want/have to, maybe the donor you like will be ready to cycle again?
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, my SIL is not going to go through two pregnancies, it's just one and that's it. I want to try everything possible before giving up on this own bio child, I know I sound so crazy stubborn but I have to know I did everything I could.
DeleteIf it is important to you, then it is important to me. May all your dreams come true!
DeleteI know my situation doesn't apply directly, but I hope you can get something out of it: on the day of my IUI, my husband's sample had 4 (yes, four!) sperm in the sample. (He had been at the office right before me and was heading off to work.) I called him back, panicking of course. The doctor gave us a special condom and told us to go home, have intercourse and bring the condom back. Then, the count was 67 million before wash. Beyond having intermittent male factor, I have a guy (with prostate issues) who does not produce well in an office. The combination is horrible. Anyway, later, we did an IVF cycle using frozen sperm. (Had to b/c he was out of town.) What they didn't tell me is that you lose a lot of sperm in the thaw; everyone's post-thaw survival rate is different. They switched us to icsi right away, though we wanted half conventional, half icsi. I hope some of this helps you.
ReplyDeleteThank you! His samples are usually pretty good at the office, I mean, pretty good considering he has MFI. Never, ever under 8 million. Your story does help me, thank you, he has an appointment on Wednesday and I'm sure they'll collect another sample then. I'll be praying this was just a fluke. Or it could be that stupid lump he has down there now, maybe it's obstructing the flow or something. I hope the donor can wait and we can get the problem fixed. Thanks again!
DeleteI so hear you about being on plan G!
ReplyDeleteGood Lord dear. Like you need to see another specialist now! I hope that you figure out what's going on with Dan sooner rather than later. You just don't need another dimension in this crazy process to deal with!
ReplyDelete