A medal for patience. And that medal better come with a baby!
What a tough weekend/week I've had! Many things to blame for it. #1: 3 friends delivered this past week. Bitter-sweet as you know. Happy for them, sad for me. Is it even possible not to feel sorry for one self?Not to compare yourself and the years you've waited with others?
Then my very good friend, I've talked about her before, the one that had her baby last year, the one that got pregnant the month after getting married, came to visit me this weekend. Her baby girl is adorable and I got to spend tons of time with them, loved it, but again, I felt this horrible pain in my chest pretty much the whole time. Haven't I waited long enough already? How is it possible that everyone gets to have a family but me?
Then we went to a park close by and it just so happened that they were having a big county fair. We had fun! Kids are fun! TONS of children as you can imagine. I kept looking around to see the parents and everyone looked so young. And then, the talk I had been having with myself, the "your time is coming, just hang in there a bit more", didn't help at all. Will I look old for kids? Will I have the energy? Is it getting to be a bit late for me? Am I at the point where having kids has become selfish? I will be turning 43 by the time our baby is born, if we are lucky.
Sure enough I got my period yesterday. So hormones were not on my favor this weekend. And Dan was out of town. I was left at night with dark feelings, very dark feelings and loneliness and despair.
Today is another day. Happy Monday everyone!
Funny Face Friday
12 hours ago